By: Duncan Tan

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Friday, 12-Sep-2008 12:32 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Howzit !

....would be the word you use you greet anyone when you are here, in Joburg, South Africa.
Yes, i am finally down here. For how long, that is yet to be known.

Leaving KLIA airport was a miserable feeling. I did not shed a tear that day, but it was a sad one indeed. Thank you to Khek, Gan, Alan, Ah Wai, Kim, Ju Shin, Alicia and also Dave for making it an easier transition to leave. Sort of "lubricated" my departure.

Anyway, its been 5 days since i arrived here at Joburg. So far so good. The weather here is pretty cold, something like what you get in Genting but the air is much dry. My lips are cracking a little and my nose has been bleeding cause of the dry-ness but its nice. Sweating is like something that never happens here even wallking under the broad mid-day sun.

Had a social gathering last wednesday where we had alcohol and meat around lunch time till sundown. It was damn fun getting to know everyone on the team and i must say i am getting pretty hyped up to working here !

Anyway i will be uploading my pictures mostly in my facebook as the line here is quite slow, so check it out there !

Signing out for now...cheers !

Thursday, 4-Sep-2008 00:41 Email | Share | | Bookmark
7th September...

Most people would have dates to commemorate anything special that happens in their life. Like their anniversary, their 1st love, their 1st breakup and etc.

This would be mine. 7th of September. I guess most people would have already know this by now, that I am leaving. Leaving here would be in the context of my previous company to join a new one. For this new company however, it would mean leaving this continent to venture off to another.

When i told people that i am leaving, some took it quite calmly as they knew that it was coming. Some took it with a " is this one of Duncan's prank again !". hahaha ! I had mixed reactions but trust me, this is no prank .

The past 3 weeks was a very emotional one for me. Taking the leap for the decision, leaving my very own comfort zone, leaving my family, friends and 2 feline companion was definitely a challenge. I may still be smiling each time i see people, but deep down inside the turbulent of mixed feelings is something i had yet to feel in a long time.

I am sad i have to leave my mom and dad behind... Even if i was not around in Penang, i would just be just a 4 hour drive away only.....

My sister...my dearest sister, who i had spend although most of my time with, would be moving down to Singapore to develop her career. Yes, although i do not agree with her on everything, i still do love her a lot.

My feline cats...I had 2 cats. 1 named Mitts, another Calico. It wasn't my idea at 1st to have them but they grew into me and became apart of me. I thought it wouldn't have much of an impact on me leaving them, but it did. A loud sigh sounded in my heart yesterday.

Last but not least...my friends.... Thank you for all the farewells, thank you for all your concerns, thank you for all your wishes...I love you guys. The list would go on, but here it goes. p/s : the order of the name DO NOT mean i love you more Thank you Alan, Gan, EJ, David, Khek, Kim, Nikki, Ju Shin, In Xuan, Chiaw Yin, Charng Yee, Jiin, KC, Ragu, Nicolette, Bernard, Jee Wei, Sim, Steph, Joanne Fong, Josephine, Harry, Han Ni, Fong Yang, Victor, BT, Stevie, Wai Har, Hanu, Najib, Muzi, Dee Lern, Saw, Ong, Sharen, MJ, Elizabeth, Janet, Shima, Jih Hoay, Suan... *list would be added from time to time*

There were some so meaningful things said to me that touched me deeply. Thank you guys and gals. At least i know, no matter how the day is, you make things...better

I will be updating my blog more often from now on. Take care people.

Cheerios !

Sunday, 17-Aug-2008 01:05 Email | Share | | Bookmark
How its gonna be...

Its 9am right now...i am up pretty early on a Sunday morning. Partially because my parents are down here in KL for the weekend. But mostly is because of this throbbing heart that is currently so confused.

*Dup dub* ...Go Duncan go...its a great opportunity

Another *dup dub* goes, but think about the things you are missing here...your friends, your family, your comfort zone...

*Dup dub*... are you good enough to take up this challange ? are you competent enough ?

The familiar song of " How its gonna be" by 3EB that is playing on my winamp is a good song to explain what i am going through. All this thinking of the consequences of your actions and what it might affect you in the future is definitely hard work.

I just hope i am wise enough to make the right decision...

Saturday, 16-Aug-2008 22:55 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Lets put a smile on that face !

Well, I am sure its you guys who put a smile on my face

Monday, 4-Aug-2008 15:06 Email | Share | | Bookmark
Caving in...

Its been a while since anything in my life made sense. The feeling of eagerness and happiness do not seem to fill me up anymore when i get out of bed every morning. The soothing words of " everything's gonna be all right today" or "this is a brand new day ! " seems to be like another famous Socrates quote from the past that don't mean a thing.

The warm feeling of a morning shower doesn't warm the body anymore. It use to be so relieving after the body has endured an endless battle with the cold night. Food do not seem to be able to satisfy its craving anymore; like when you are so hungry, the warm mushroom soup that flows down your throat can't make up for that missing satisfying feeling.

Its been a year since I decided to part my way with her. I never once looked back on that decision as i decided i had to be fair to myself and her. I have pretty much enjoyed the feeling of being single all this time. Don't need to have that feeling of I-am-not-spending-enough-time-with-her, call in hourly to report in and the list goes on... you know what i mean right ? I thought at first that the void would close up and seize to exist in time, but i guess it doesn't. It still remains there, like it or not. Maybe the one in me is currently growing and is starting to eat me up little by little.

I would admit that i miss that feeling of being with someone. That feeling of holding her close to you and whisper to her ears. That feeling of sharing your world, your feelings and your thoughts with her, knowing that she would share hers with you too. That feeling of knowing under the same blue sky, someone loves you pretty much as you love her...

Yes, I would admit i have a slight liking towards someone right now. Not really what i had in mind as i did before. But i would truly say i have a slight preference towards her. Each calls and SMS i receive, i would hope that its her. I do enjoy talking to her a lot. I wouldnt say we share a lot in common but enough for me to have a liking to her. The only thing that is holding me back right now is my dreams of pursuing my career and also that...age ! hahahaha. Those that are close to me knows the age . Don't ask me how much ok ?

Maybe i just need some time off for myself...sighs

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